It was bound to happen.
I was super stressed. Chris has been traveling a ton, so I'm flying solo much of the time. We have so much going on constantly. I am over-extended and worn out. So, the universe has delivered a forced slow down, especially for me.
Mama is sick, and that is never a good thing.
A few weeks back, I took the kids to Cedar Point for HalloWeekends. I was feeling like crap, but there was no backing out. Chris was out of town so I was on my own. I forged ahead because I refused to disappoint the kids, and it was a really great opportunity. And a wonderful thing happened. After walking around the park for hours upon hours, I actually felt better. Ha! I beat this thing! I felt rather...invincible.
Fast forward to this past week. Chris was gone (again). I had two sick girls. I was starting to feel like crap (again). I forged ahead, because I had to. And now, here I am, not getting better. I'm re-visiting my youth, when I was down for the count with respiratory ailments on a regular basis, when struggling for breath was a way of life.
We have a house full of asthmatics, which means the proper tools (a nebulizer) and drugs (Albuterol) are on hand. So I gave myself a breathing treatment. Because, you know, it feels good to breathe. And...yuck. I hope this is not how my girls feel when they take Albuterol, because my heart was racing, I was jittery, and my teeth were still chattering the next morning. It did seem to help with the breathing thing though. Also my wonderful husband went to the store late at night and woke me up with two cold tablets and a glass of water because he could tell I wasn't sleeping well. Those tablets have been helping too. I'm just worn out, congested, and not real happy with the breathing situation. I haven't slept this much in years. Napping even.
So, see Universe? I'm slowing down. I'm resting. But enough already, okay? I've got a busy week ahead. Lots of driving little people back and forth. Meetings. Errands. Household maintenance. Fun stuff, too, like Disney On Ice. I'm even going to defy you a little bit and continue going to the gym, but I'll take it easy.Who knows, maybe I'll sweat it out. Also, I don't mean to sound all self-important by mentioning how busy I am. This is just my life. I enjoy relaxing, believe me, and squeeze it in whenever I can.
Thank you for the reminder. I do realize that sometimes I need it. Thanks also for allowing me to be well enough that I can still function on an as needed basis. I will continue to strive for balance. I will also continue to rest, because dang it, I'm tired. Hopefully one day it will fully sink in, and then you can quit sending me these annoying reminders.
Monday, October 14, 2013
Saturday, October 5, 2013
It's been an interesting week for me on a personal level, with "interesting" being a euphemism for: stressful, hard, enlightening (in a bad way), disappointing, and...well, I think you get my gist. When I encounter bumps in the road like this, I often get stuck in a depressive rut. My game is thrown, know what I mean? This week I've been trying to counteract my self-defeating natural tendencies, with limited success. There's room for improvement, but I'm doing okay. Which is better than lounging in the pits of despair.
My coping mechanisms this week:
My coping mechanisms this week:
- I have allowed myself to lean on my husband. I'm typically a loner when it comes to difficult situations, so this is a different way of doing things for me.
- Sleeping a lot. Maybe this isn't great, but I usually don't get anywhere near enough sleep. This past week I've been getting, I'm estimating, enough plus a little more.
- Confiding in a friend. I might vent from time to time, but I generally don't ever truly lay it all out there for anyone. This time I did, and it was kind of refreshing, in a super naked feeling kind of way.
- Escapism, in the form of reading a lot. Also, I even fell asleep watching Pretty in Pink one night. (I hardly ever watch television. But I love this movie.)
- Yoga. I went to my first class. I loved it. I felt so zen by the end of the class, like I had just had an hour long massage. You know that feeling, kind of like you're walking on air and everything is just mellow and good? Three days later and it finally doesn't hurt my abs to cough anymore.
- Getting out of the house. Mathilda and I went on two preschool field trips, one to an apple orchard and one to a fire station. It's kind of hard to be anything but happy when you're hanging out with a bunch of preschoolers. I went to book club with some girl friends. I went downtown with my friend and laughed a lot.
- Indulging in a little comfort food. I didn't go overboard, but I did get fries and a frappe from McD's, and ate lots of cereal.
- Writing about it. No one has to see what you write, it still helps.
Well, I think that's all I've got. I'm trying. That's all.